Thursday, January 12, 2012

hello, I must be going...

Friends- I know I haven't been on The Shelf in a very long time and quite frankly the doors have been shut for quite a long time. For the past year and half, this blog became a one man dog and pony show- and I had neither dog, nor pony. So for all intents and purposes, it was closed. Not on hiatus, like I kept telling myself, nor temporarily disconnected. Closed. As in shut, ended, kaput. I tried... oh yes, I tried. But in the end life beat me on this one. I have had one of the most challenging years and a half in my entire life, and although I have risen to the challenges, it was not without stress, fatigue or distraction. SO this is where I failed YOU dear friends; for I kept pretending to come back, I kept intending- in my head- to come back and pick up and run again like we used to years ago. But alas, I wasn't able to do so, and I missed it. Everytime I heard some classic film news or saw a new classic film dvd release- I thought of you. I wanted to write about the goings on, the new discoveries and old aquainences, but I was too overwhelmed. In fact, I think overwhelmed describes myself perfectly to a "T".

But I let things stay up on the webpage. I kept visiting old friends and keeping up with their blogs and realized- "they don't need me anyway. Look at all this great stuff out there." It was few and far between when we started, kiddos, but the blogosphere has done us proud with many sources of information and discussion about classic film. So I didn't worry- I just missed it and I missed all of you. But with the start of this year, I realized now, more than ever, I have to let go. No, no "Titanic Jack and Rose" go; but simply let go of this thing that in many ways, was already gone. I've put off an official "sign-off" post, simply because I didn't want to let go...

But here is the thing I've learned in the past couple of years... sometimes letting go of what ultimately you can't control, but then holding on to what really matters is what allows us to progress. It helps us, as human beings, to be able to move on in the seasons of life. It serves no purpose to stand in the middle of winter, clutching the dried grasses of summer wondering "why?" Summer will come again- everything in life is a cycle. Who knows? Maybe one day I will be back, under my real moniker, instead of this nome-de-plume that I've come to identify with, and better than ever. Or then, I may have moved on to the new technology of the future of hologram blogging....or something. Either way, painfully, I have to let go of the Shelf. For now, I need to let go and concentrate on family and other things that need me, and not have a part of me glance backward, feeling guilty and lost.

It really doesn't matter- most of you have been long gone and figured out the obvious, but I appreciate closure. I appreciate bookends. I have plenty of fond memories and favorite posts in between those bookends, but one really needs a set to help keep them together. So that is what this is- the other bookend in the set, the final chapter, or (to be really cheesy) the official sign-off. For now I will leave this up for a while longer- not as a memorial, but so I can still have the links of my friends handy til I can make a nice little link list somewhere else, but also to communicate with any of you who might leave a note over the next little while.

I am grateful for all of you. I wish I could sit here and name all the wonderful blogging friends and readers who have supported me and nutured me over the years, but you could take a glance over at the Shelf Community list on the sidebar and go visit these wonderful people yourself. If you happen to read this- thank you. I appreciate everything. In the words of the very first post - slightly altered to fit the occasion (I told you I like bookends),: "After all these years, you've come to expect randomness, musings, reviews, and context. This was just for me to get things off my chest and out there. Thanks for stopping by, and don't forget your coat on your way out." I've got my coat. Will you get the lights? Why- hello, I must be going....

Oh, I know it's a penny here and a penny there, but look at me. I worked myself up from nothing to a state of extreme poverty.

Hello, I must be going.


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