Sunday, October 15, 2006

ok hans, stand to your reft.

The Shelf's weekend correspondent, Baravelli, has been watching the news lately.And unlike some certain newscasters and politicians, he isn't a man to mince words. He's a little ticked off by what has been going on with North Korea. Therefore in this weekend's game review, Baravelli has decided to reach back for an older game in order to vent.

Hello there again. It is time once again for the GREAT REVIEWER to send out his review on a video game. This time around I am keeping my review close to “the current events”. If you are like a certain terrorist who is hiding under a rock you are just now getting informed that a certain small guy in Korea has been playing around with some A-bombs. Yes the age old question is once again in the spot light: Is there a little man complex? We don’t have to worry about it. Although, I can see how he would be upset; being small and ugly. Oh well, I must get into the review.

The game Mercenaries is a fun, blow-up-what-you-want game. In the game you are a (yes, man) mercenary who is trying to catch members of a regime that have nukes and are planning a war with everyone. They are show as playing cards. The good old “Deck of 52”. Your objective is to catch the Ace and stop the “rein of terror” from going on. You will have to help out other leaders in order to get information on the location of the number cards.

For example, in one contract you have take WMD inspectors from the Allied Force around the number of chemical complexes. While they inspect the complex you have to protect them. North Korean guards are shooting rifles and RPG’s at them. If you are so lucky to protect their lives and return them to their base, you will get that ever so needed information that you desire. I am playing this game again with the recent news and I am blowing every wacko Kim Jong Il-wannabe I find. It is rather relaxing I have to admit.

You can drive and fly anything you get your hands on. You can shoot any weapon you find. You can order any vehicle or weapon you don’t have. You can call in for a MOAB to be dropped or any air strike you need. I mean it when I say you can blow up everything if you want. There are a number of cheat codes that are at your reach. My favorite ones are the unlimited health, ammo and money codes. Again I say if you don’t have it go out and get it. If you have it and it is collecting dust, wipe it off and play it, man. Until next time, have a nice day.

You can't fool me! There ain't no Santa Claus!    Posted by A. Baravelli

Hans, Hans, Hans! We've been frew this a dozen times. I don't have any weapons of mass destwuction, OK Hans?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I think everybody and there brother has seen Team America. What is so scary is that a movie that is several years old is still so relevant in its humor. Maybe Kim Jong Idiot will actually revert to cockroach form and crawl away. The Film Actors Guild sure is doing their part to hinder freedom.


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